Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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