yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
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