worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
