what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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