A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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