playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you traded sex for a burrito?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
