I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
