I puked a lego.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
