Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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