How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
