shes about as inviting as chlamydia
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
