yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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