I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Congratulations! We have a period
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
