my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
