I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
