Cold hands, warm shart.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
