if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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