Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
