so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
