also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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