Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
