I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You can't just leave with hair like that
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
