why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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