I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
