I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
