Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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