do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
