the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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