I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My penis needs a shock collar
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
