i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
