No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
