he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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