Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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