My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
