Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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