I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
