I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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