Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The best revenge is premature balding
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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