My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
