I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
