I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
