Dual....:-)
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
