I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
