i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Randomize
