My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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