I want to walk on stilts...naked
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
