just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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