Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
