you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
even my farts smell like vagina
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
