Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
