I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
