Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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