Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
