I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
wow bdsm is so cute
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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