I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
