No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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