Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
