and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
